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Distance

“No one can please everyone.
 Your mental peace is more important.”
   ~ Baba Hari Dass

Awareness
is all that is
to the one who has broken free
of illusions
of prejudices
of regrets concerns conceits
of identifications
of jealousy
of femaleness or maleness
though since this is about human awareness
the reader may rather identify the protagonist as she or he
at least not it so what’ll it be
might as well be she
which is fun and
besides after spending enough time alone
she’s learned to play any and every role
learned to respect the body for its role
learned to recognize awareness as the whole point
learned to sense the mind’s limits
learned to bend or break a few of them with who knows what results
learned to marvel at incomprehension
learned to accept imperfection
learned to acknowledge the lessons
learned from those who step by step brought her to
where she was going all along to
awareness
through which she unlearned everything
leaving behind these insufficient verses

To the one who reached down from the rooftop
like a vampire
to pound her third-story window
waking her in the wee hours
leading her to wonder
whether you saw in her
if only after so many years
what she perhaps had failed to see before to
what you expected her to awaken,

To the one who knocked on her front door
at seven in the morning
having lost the key to the next door apartment
after yet another night of abandon
leading her to wonder
whether you refused
the breakfast she set before you because of
what you saw in her too to
what you expected her to become,

To the one who left vitriol to arrive years later
in permanent ink
in the disposable mail
the one who tripped her from behind
as she ran
the one who shoved her from behind
down the stairs
the one who kicked her
when she reached the bottom
the one who pretended
as she thought you were her friend
leading her to wonder
whether you understood the ripple effect of causes,

To the one who gobbled all the food in her fridge
as soon as it might have been shared
leading her to wonder
if her little date with your virtually-ex-spouse
made her have to ask
before you took her on another date
of your own
for more groceries,

To the one who picked up the phone for her
that one last time
leading her to wonder
just what anticipated pressure was
too much had time continued,

To the one who philosophized at her
as she lay through most of the night
and became upset when she refused to abide
by your direction
leading her to wonder
how carefully you’d considered
who could be taught
what could be taught
and why it need be taught,

To the one who cleaned her rented oven
with at least an hour’s elbow grease
leading her to wonder
what you anticipated in return
since you refused both money and favors,

To the one who suggested she reach beyond limits
for awareness’ sake
leading her to wonder
why no one had suggested that before,

And to the one who drove a lot of miles
expressly to curse those to hell
whose special occasion was being celebrated
leading her to wonder
how anyone could be guaranteed
to either go there or stay there,

She asks of your true essence
can anyone
suck your blood
shut you out
shove you
trip you
confuse you
starve you
compress you
correct you
release you
bind you
consign you,
even the source
of your free will,
even a brilliant blazing heaven
that some say
almost without your knowing
attracts you
like a moth spiraling four-dimensionally,
even your
karma,
even your
mother,
even your
self?

Yet unaffected by the fire
is what already burns
as the healer and the healing
become conscious all at once
comes understanding
and the chance
to at last be each
and every
one.

Thanks always returns

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