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The reliquishing, part one

“I took a fish head out to see a movie
  Didn’t have to pay to get it in”
   ~ Barnes & Barnes, “Fish Heads” from the album Voohbaha! (1980)

Help!
I’ve been marooned
On this insane planet
Where I’ve had to master martial arts
To avoid getting pulverized by day in the gym or schoolyard
Until now when the beasts who once assaulted me
Have turned me over to their ilk of female persuasion
Whose psychological tactics leave me defenseless
Since the only way to prove I’m not gay is to fuck one a couple times
And why would any of the others believe her
Unless she collected some semen and used it and a demure accusation
To turn me in
Better not give them the pleasure of ruining my future yet further
Or of making me kill myself
Not until I capture this bit of history
Not until I reach out to see if anyone else halfway normal
Was abandoned somewhere around here with me
Not until I return to this house I might’ve begun to call home
Had its other inhabitants not taken up shouting at each other
Stopping only briefly when the dog died young of heart failure
And noticing not in the least
As I shut the bedroom door locking out the sight
Of a mother and an adopted brother driving each other straight
To the funny farm
But not the sound
Until I learn to concentrate enough on this
Music reading computer code and simple inward awareness
To shut anyone off like a light.

Thanks always returns

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